In the Memory You'll Find Me
by Asterisked
Summary: Morinaga is struck by a car while on a beer trip, leaving him without any recollection of who he is, or perhaps more importantly, who Souichi Tatsumi is...and yet, as the two spend time together, Morinaga can't help but fall in love with the man who calls himself his Senpai.


(part two of old Tyrant story dump, enjoy!)

* * *

Morinaga Tetsuhiro walked happily down the street towards the apartment that he and his sempai, Tatsumi Souichi, had been sharing for a few months. The sun was shining brightly in the clear, blue sky above him as he whistled merrily down the sidewalk, a bag of beer clutched in his hand. He thought about the fun he was going to have later that night when he got his sempai completely plastered. _He's not getting away from me tonight_, he thought gleefully as he approached the crosswalk in front of the apartment complex. Daydreams of Sempai naked, sweating, and begging for more under him completely captured his attention as he began to cross the street. Chuckling to himself, he didn't even notice the car speeding towards him.

Tatsumi Souichi was getting irritated. Morinaga was taking way too long with that beer. _What'd he do, get robbed on the way or something? _After waiting for only fifteen minutes(he was quite eager to get drunk that night-it had been a grueling week of work at the university), he stood up with a huff and marched out the apartment door. He sped down the staircase as gracefully as an angry bull, and stomped his way out of the building. As he neared the street in front of the apartment, he spotted his kouhai walking rather crookedly on the sidewalk opposite the complex. _There he is_. Souichi crossed his arms and watched, annoyed, as Morinaga stumbled his way onto the crosswalk. A sudden sound of a revving engine entered Souichi's ears, and he jerked his face towards the origin of the noise. A red Toyota was coming towards Morinaga at a ridiculous speed, and Morinaga, being the idiot he was, had not even noticed it.

"Morinaga! HEY! Get over here, quick!" Souichi screeched, panic flooding his body in an icy shudder.

Morinaga looked up at Souichi with surprise, then registered the vehicle zooming towards him. He barely had time to make an expression of fear before the car was bearing down on him. The driver, only noticing Morinaga in front of him when the man was a few feet away, slammed on the brakes. This slowed the car down considerably, but it wasn't enough. The bumper crashed into Morinaga, sending him sprawling onto the pavement. The cans of beer in Morinaga's bag exploded and fizzed as they hit the ground. The red car came to a halt, and the driver burst out of it, eyes wide with disbelief.

Souichi rushed over to his unconscious kouhai, his body feeling numb. He fell to his knees beside Morinaga's prone body, and cradled the man's head to his chest. He felt a stickiness on Morinaga's scalp, and saw blood. The driver of the car stood nearby, writhing his hands in panic and uncertainty.

"CALL AN AMBULANCE, YOU MORON!" Souichi bellowed hoarsely, and the man dug in his jacket pocket for his cell phone.

Souichi returned his attentions to his hurt friend. "Morinaga...Morinaga...oh...don't..." He rocked back and forth, tenderly pressing his kouhai's swelling cheek against his shirt. Something hot was falling out of Souichi's eyes. Morinaga's dark head started to blur in his vision, and Souichi swiped at his eyes angrily, determined to keep his gaze focused on the man unconscious on his lap. He was suddenly finding it very hard to breathe.

"...Morinaga..."

The first thing Tetsuhiro registered was a splitting ache on the side of his head. It throbbed mercilessly, reverberating in his skull like a thousand jackhammers. _What...what's going on?_ The second thing he noticed was that his eyes were closed. He tried to lift them and discovered that each eyelid easily weighed a hundred pounds. Tetsuhiro managed the strength to slowly open them, and a blinding light penetrated his pupils. As his eyes adjusted he discovered new things about himself. The entire left side of his body was incredibly stiff and ached dully, as though he had been slammed up against a wall. His right arm felt oddly rigid, as though something was keeping it from moving. His eyes having finally adapted to the light, he looked down at his arm and saw it was buried inside a cast and sling._ How did that happen? _His splitting headache distracted him once again, and he raised a hand to touch his scalp. There was a thick bandage wrapped around his entire head, and to Tetsuhiro it felt as though it was the only thing keeping his head from exploding. He looked down at himself, and noticed he was lying down, under pale green blankets, and had tubes protruding from his left wrist. He followed the line of tubing and saw an IV bag. It hit his pain-rattled brain that he was in a hospital. _Oh, God, what happened? How did I-_

Tetsuhiro's line of thought was cut off as he noticed something moving in his peripheral vision. His eyes darted quickly to the source of the movement, and his breath caught in his throat.

There was a man sitting next to his bed. The man was sitting with his shoulders back against the chair, his head lolled onto his shoulder. Asleep. He had long, blonde-brown hair that was tied in a loose band behind his neck, round glasses, and a tense expression even while asleep. His chest rose and fell with each slow breath.

Tetsuhiro thought that he had never seen anyone so beautiful in his life. _Who...who is this man?_

He slowly reached over his IV'd hand and lightly touched his fingers to the man's cheek. The long-haired man unconsciously leaned in to his touch, resting his face in the cup of Tetsuhiro's hand. His breathing came to an abrupt halt, and his eyes snapped open. Tetsuhiro was startled to see that they were a toffee brown.

"M-Morinaga...?" The tawny-eyed man gasped, his eyes widening.

Tetsuhiro nodded, which caused a deeper ripple of pain to spike through his already aching head. He groaned and leaned back onto his pillow, but refused to take his eyes off the beauty in front of him.

The man moved quickly to a red button at the side of Tetsuhiro's pillow, which he had missed during his initial inspection of his surroundings. The bespectacled man pressed the button several times, and Tetsuhiro could hear a faint buzzing outside of his room at each press. The door flew open almost at once, and two men wearing white coats walked in. They spotted Tetsuhiro looking at them interestedly, and smiles broke out on their faces.

"Aah, Morinaga-kun! You've woken up! That's splendid!" The taller of the two gushed and proceeded to scribble something down on the clipboard at the base of Tetsuhiro's bed.

"...Thanks..?" Tetsuhiro said, and glanced back at the man sitting next to him. The guy's face was oddly red, and his eyes were slightly misty. He stood up abruptly and marched away from the bed, his arm across his face. The sight caused Tetsuhiro's heart to give a strange lurch, as though he should be comforting the man.

"You're probably in a lot of pain right now. You hit your head quite hard..." The taller of the two doctors said, and Tetsuhiro returned his attention to them.

"I must have, this hurts like hell..." Tetsuhiro muttered, and then asked "So what happened, anyway?"

The doctors looked startled. "You got hit by a car, remember? The bag of beers somehow prevented your arm and ribs from being totally ruined, but it didn't stop your head from hitting the pavement. You had a severe concussion, and a cracked bone in your elbow...you were asleep for about a week." The taller man said carefully, and registered the alarm in Tetsuhiro's eyes. "Don't worry, your family has been informed. Although I have to say I find it odd none of them came to visit...at least Tatsumi-kun has stayed by your side the entire time." He said, glancing at the long-haired man who had been sleeping by Tetsuhiro's side.

_Tatsumi-kun, huh? _"Umm, thank you, Tatsumi-san..." Tetsuhiro said quietly, and the man whirled around in astonishment. His caramel eyes locked onto Tetsuhiro's, and then narrowed suspiciously.

"What did you call me?" He asked, his voice sounding slightly nervous.

"Tatsumi-san...I'm sorry, should I have said 'kun'?" Tetsuhiro guessed, although somehow he was sure the man was older than he was.

The colour drained from Tatsumi's face. "You don't...know who I am?" The words came out strangled.

_Uh oh._ "No...sorry, should I?"

Tatsumi looked at him, horrified, and then charged over to where the doctors stood, their expressions calculative. He grabbed the shorter doctor by the front of his coat, and shouted "What's wrong with him?!"

The doctor, looking a bit frightened, stammered, "It appears he has some memory loss...we can't say how much yet, or if it's short or long term...but," he added when Tatsumi gave him a desperate shake, "we can find out. Let go, please, Tatsumi-kun..!"

The wild-eyed man released the doctor and staggered back to his chair. He collapsed into it, and placed his face in his hands.

"We'll get started on this after Morinaga-kun has rested for a little while." The taller doctor stated, and he and his colleague left the room.

_I...I have memory loss? _The weight of reality crashed down on Tetsuhiro, and he suddenly felt hollow. _What do I not know anymore? Who? _He looked over at his shaken comrade, and saw that the man was staring at him, his face tired and scared at the same time. _I know this man?_

It turned out, after about a week of sessions and tests, that Tetsuhiro had very selective memory problems. He could recall his name, and every day things like the names of objects, how they work, where to get them, etc. He could also read, spell, and do daily functions. However, he could not remember anything about himself, nor anyone he knew. He had no idea where he lived, that he went to school, or even anything about his childhood. He was a blank slate with a name.

The shock that Tetsuhiro had received when he couldn't pull up childhood events or even his address numbed him to his core. He couldn't believe he knew absolutely nothing. During his stay at the hospital, he slowly got used to this reality, and learned many things. For one, his bedside visitor was Souichi Tatsumi, his sempai at a university they both attended. They had known each other for five years, and were very good friends. Tetsuhiro also learned about where he lived, his family, and his friends as they came to visit from the university. Eventually he had gained a volume's worth of information about his life, and when they released him from the hospital about three weeks later, he resigned himself to the fact that he was likely not going to remember anything. He tried and tried to find things that were new to him as being familiar, but nothing had evoked that feeling.

Now, as he was being led to the apartment that he and Tatsumi-san(who had told him to refer to him as 'Sempai')shared, he couldn't help but wonder if he had been a different person before the accident. When he had asked Sempai about it, all he got in return was a gruff "No, you're the same as before."

Sempai reached the crosswalk leading to the apartment and paused. Tetsuhiro did the same, not really knowing where to go without him. "What's the matter, Tat- er, Sempai?"

Sempai stared at the crosswalk, looking as though he wasn't even breathing. "This is where you got hit." He said curtly.

"Oh..." Tetsuhiro looked at the pavement, grateful for once that his memory was faulty. He didn't really want to remember that.

They stomped up the usual several flights of stairs until they reached their place, and once the door was open, Tetsuhiro let out an astonished gasp.

"Wow, it's so...cute." He grinned at Sempai, dropping his bags at the entrance and walking in eagerly. He had been really curious at the hospital to see what the place that he and Sempai shared was like. It had been joyous enough to learn that he was friends with the luminous creature-it blew him away entirely when he was told they cohabited an apartment together as well.

"Well, you picked it out." Sempai said with annoyance as Tetsuhiro peered curiously into the fridge. He emerged and gave Sempai the same confused expression he had been giving him the past three weeks whenever he learned something about himself.

"I did?" The confusion left his face and was replaced with sadness. _I'm getting a bit tired of learning about myself..it was kind of interesting at first, but now...I wish that I could just _remember _it all. _His eyes trailed down Sempai's body, and felt a flush creep into his cheeks. Tetsuhiro found himself staring at Sempai frequently, as though he couldn't get enough of the view. During his stay at the hospital, he had noticed that he never even gave the beautiful female doctors or nurses and single glance. Tetsuhiro drew the conclusion that he must be gay, but was unsure of how to break the news to Sempai. He could tell the luscious man was nothing but straight from his head to his toes, and Tetsuhiro really didn't want to scare him off. He had to see what living with Sempai was like.

Giving his head a shake, he forced a smile on his face. "So, where's my room?"

Sempai's cheeks got a bit rosy, and he walked over to a door and opened it. Tetsuhiro looked in to see a comfortable, yet plain, room. "Great, thanks Sempai."

The long haired man nodded curtly and stalked to the couch in the living room. Tetsuhiro grabbed his things from the entrance and placed them in his room. He poked his head out of the doorway.

"Sempai, I'm going to have a nap, all right?" He called, and was rewarded with a "Okay" in response. He closed the door and flopped unceremoniously on the bed. He was asleep before he could even think about it.

Souichi stared at the flickering images on his and Morinaga's television, his mind too preoccupied to pay attention. He had just told Morinaga that his room, Souichi's, was Morinaga's. _Why did I do that? He's bound to notice that everything in there belongs to me..._

The images of Morinaga's body getting smacked by the car, of his head hitting the pavement with a sickening CRACK suddenly played behind Souichi's eyes. He shuddered, and felt his eyes start to water once again. _Dammit, stop! _He thought angrily, and they obeyed. When Morinaga had been hit, and during the time he was unconscious at the hospital, Souichi had felt numb with despair. He felt as though his whole world had shattered. He had forced the paramedics to let him sit besides Morinaga in the ambulance, and had almost punched one of the orderlies in the face when they tried to take him away from his kouhai as Morinaga was wheeled in for surgery. Souichi had stayed at Morinaga's side the entire time he had been unconscious, periodically breaking into furious tears. He had been so pissed at himself-both for letting Morinaga get hurt, and for not being able to do anything as Morinaga remained asleep for days. When his kouhai had awakened, Souichi had felt such joy and relief, he had almost started to cry again, right in front of Morinaga. But that was then.

Now that the whole ordeal was over with, he could no longer put off thinking about _why_ he had reacted in such a way to Morinaga's accident. _I was just concerned for a good friend, he thought stubbornly. Anyone would get upset! _

_Aha, _said a small voice in the back of his head, _but would they refuse to leave their friend's side like you did? Would they think of nothing else during his recovery, like you did?_ _That sounds like a bit more than-_

_Uh, nuh-uh. _Souichi cut the voice off irritably. _We're friends. _

He sighed and shifted awkwardly on the couch. Other than the accident and the strangely awkward feelings associated with it, he still wasn't sure where he stood on Morinaga's memory loss. For one, because of it, his kouhai was no longer trying to get into his pants every three seconds. _Thank GOD_, Souichi thought. When Morinaga had asked him about themselves, all Souichi had told him was that they had been good friends. _Maybe this way Morinaga will lay off me...Maybe I could get him to go get a woman..._Somewhere inside of himself told him that was wrong, but he ignored these feelings.

As happy as he was about Morinaga's lost lust for him, part of Souichi felt an unmistakable stab of loss. Everything that they had done together, all of their memories, were gone. Souichi was literally just some stranger to Morinaga, while Morinaga was still Souichi's only friend. And Morinaga was really the exact same guy he was before; he was still friendly, still helpful, still Morinaga. Just...directionless. Souichi had no idea what to do with him, since it was clear he was going to be unable to continue at the university. Souichi recalled asking the doctor if Morinaga's memories were gone forever:

_"So, is he useless now? Will he ever remember?" Souichi has asked tersely._

_The short doctor had given an insecure shrug. "It's possible the memories are gone forever...but it's just as possible they may come back someday. Sometimes extremely familiar situations or emotionally weighty items can trigger memory recollection, but I wouldn't tell Morinaga that. I don't want him to strain himself trying to remember everything. Just let him live his life, and someday, he might recall his past life."_

So all Souichi could really do was either stand by Morinaga as he re-learned his life, or wait for his elusive memories to return.

Chapter 2

After a few awkward days of getting used to life in the apartment, Tetsuhiro found himself settling into a comfortable routine. Sempai would get up quite early to catch the train to the University, and Tetsuhiro would get up with him to wish him a good day. After Sempai had left, Tetsuhiro would fix himself some breakfast, then shower, then clean around the apartment. Once he ran out of things to clean, he would venture out of the apartment for a walk. During these walks he met many of his neighbours, who would always greet him with surprise when he told them of his condition. Around lunchtime, he'd wander back to the apartment and make lunch, while watching television. He'd then start supper, and by the time Sempai came back home around four-thirty, Tetsuhiro would be waiting for him with a big smile and plenty of delicious food. They would sit down to eat, and Tetsuhiro would ask Sempai about his day. Sempai's responses were always short and precise:

"Not bad, a lot of work today."

"I had to find a new lab partner, thanks to you."

"It sucked, my culture died."

Afterwards, they would clean up (Sempai always helping with the dishes), and then lay around for the rest of the evening. Sometimes Sempai would have to do more work for the university on his laptop, and Tetsuhiro would discreetly watch him, taking in the changes in his expressions as he bent over the computer screen. Eventually they would go to bed, Sempai giving Tetsuhiro a curt " G'night" before slamming his bedroom door behind him.

And repeat. _Nothing really to complain about, _Tetsuhiro thought one evening about three weeks after his return to the apartment from the hospital. He and Sempai were doing the dishes from another of Tetsuhiro's scrumptious suppers, Tetsuhiro washing while Sempai dried. He grabbed a dirty plate and scrubbed at it thoughtfully. _Nothing to complain about…and yet… _He snuck a side glance at Sempai, who was rubbing a drying cloth over a glass, his eyebrows furrowed together. His long hair was tied back, as usual, but there was an errant strand falling in his face. Sempai would blow at it, annoyed, as he dried the glass. Tetsuhiro felt a grin creep on his face and looked away. _And yet, it feels like something is missing. That, and, it feels as though Sempai is not acting like he should be for some reason. Of course, I don't know how he acted around me before the accident, so I can't really be sure…_

Tetsuhiro finished cleaning the plate and handed it over to Sempai. As the dish was passed between them, the tips of Tetsuhiro's fingers brushed across Sempai's, and the elder man quickly jerked his hand back. He looked into Tetsuhiro's eyes briefly, his cheeks slightly pink, then turned to the plate and began to dry it furiously. Tetsuhiro remained looking at the other man for a few seconds longer, taking in Sempai's smooth, flushed skin, his long hair, his beautiful nose, his….everything. Tetsuhiro struggled with the insane urge to grab Sempai's chin in his fingers, and tilt his beautiful, angry, face up to his….

He shuddered and reached for another dish. Tetsuhiro wasn't quite sure when it was that he had fallen in love with Souichi Tatsumi. It could have been the very moment he awoke in the hospital, lost and confused. He didn't know when, but somehow, his feelings felt deeper than just a new infatuation. Tetsuhiro felt as though he had loved Sempai for a very long time, even years…it was almost as though by falling in love after losing his memories he was just re-surfacing what was already there. It was the only clue Tetsuhiro had to his past self, and he couldn't even tell anyone.

It was definitely a cruel, and yet blessed existence living with Sempai. The man took to walking around the apartment in only sweatpants, which would equal an instant hard-on for Tetsuhiro. He would have to flee the room as quickly as possible whenever Sempai walked into the room he was in shirtless, or wet from the shower. As inconvenient as it was to be in that kind of state all of the time, Tetsuhiro wouldn't give it up for the world.

"Sempai," he began as he passed the wok he had been cleaning to the older man, "did I have any friends that I hung out with besides you?" _I must have had someone to confide in_, Tetsuhiro thought desperately.

Sempai glanced up at Tetsuhiro, the slight blush on his cheeks now faded. "I don't know about anyone in particular, but once in a while you would go off to some bar and not come back for a few hours, so I'm assuming there was _someone _you talked to." He shrugged and turned back to the wok.

_A bar? I frequented a bar? Why would I need to if I liked…._He looked curiously at Sempai, only to see the man's shoulders were stiff, and his eyebrows were more furrowed than ever.

Tetsuhiro let out a frustrated sigh. _What is going _on_?_

The next day, he got an answer. He was just about to start his lunch when the phone rang. A tad annoyed that he was interrupted from his meal, he strode over to the cordless and snatched it out of its holster.

"Tatsumi-Morinaga residence." He announced, feeling a little thrill for the "Tatsumi" part of the statement.

"Tetsuhiro Morinaga?" Came a strange voice. It was a male's, but it was oddly high pitched.

"…Yes, who may I ask is calling?" Tetsuhiro stated curiously.

"Who's calling? It's Hiroto!" The man on the phone exclaimed in astonishment. "Who else would it be? Where have you been! I've been so worried; you haven't dropped by in nearly two months!"

"Uh…" Tetsuhiro gulped. _What kind of relationship did I have with this man..? _ "I..um…are you a friend of mine, Hiroto-kun? I'm sorry, but I got into a car accident and well, I lost my memories, so…." He trailed off, unsure of how to proceed.

Dead silence on the other end greeted his words, until after a few seconds a small whisper reached his ears: "Really?"

"Yeah…"

"Wow. Ah, well, I think you need to come over so we can talk! I guess you'll be needing directions to the bar again?"

_The bar?_ _Is this the bar I used to go to?_ "Yes, yes please."

Twenty minutes later, he was sitting on a stool in a gay bar. When he reached the entrance to the building, he had read the sign at the front and balked. _I guess that makes sense_, he had thought begrudgingly.

After standing nervously outside the door for a few minutes, he was spotted from the inside by a handsome red-headed man, who flung open the door and dragged Tetsuhiro inside. It had turned out this guy was Hiroto, the man who had called him. Tetsuhiro had been relieved to know that they had strictly been friends.

"You used to come here all of the time to drink and gab at me," Hiroto said as he prepared a drink for a slightly tipsy customer on Tetsuhiro's left. Tetsuhiro had explained his accident and his condition to Hiroto a few minutes before, and was now curious as to why he used to come to the bar in the first place. He had asked Hiroto this, and was horrified at the mischievous expression that had formed on the other man's face at his inquiry.

"But what did we talk about?" Tetsuhiro pressed.

Smirking slightly, Hiroto bent in front of the counter and grabbed a few bottles. He resurfaced and poured measures of both bottles into a glass. He then pushed the glass towards Tetsuhiro.

"Oh, a little bit of this, a little bit of that…." He paused as Tetsuhiro took a tentative gulp of the alcohol, "…Your lover…."

Tetsuhiro spat the fruity drink out onto the counter. "What?!" He gasped.

Hiroto nodded nonchalantly, enjoying the drama. "Oh yes." He raised his eyebrows in mock surprise. "What, you didn't know?"

Tetsuhiro gaped at him. _Lover? What? But…what about Sempai…!_

Hiroto was having a hard time keeping it in. When Tetsuhiro continued to stare at him in complete shock and confusion, he lost it. Hiroto exploded with laughter, his frame vibrating with glee as he guffawed at Tetsuhiro's expense. Oh, it was all too funny!

The dark haired man was now annoyed instead of confused. "What? What's so funny? Who was it?"

Hiroto wiped his streaming eyes on his sleeve, and gave a hearty sniff. "Ah, my friend, sit back and I will weave you a tale of love, sex, and mutual abuse."

Tetsuhiro sat at his stool, heart drumming in his chest. He felt slightly sick, as though his body was unprepared for what he was going to hear. He nodded anyway.

Hiroto cleared his throat and began:

"Ahem. There once was a very nice man named Tetsuhiro Morinaga, whom I've always called Angel-kun for his purity and devotion to others. Yes, Angel-kun, I do call you that. Deal with it. Anyways, one day when he was all grown up, Angel-kun started attending a university. It was there that he met the man of his dreams—a certain bespectacled man known as Souichi Tatsumi."

"What!" Tetsuhiro inhaled sharply, but Hiroto ignored him and continued:

"Yes, Souichi Tatsumi. A dreadful man…homophobic, tyrannical, and just plan scary. And yet for some reason Angel-kun found him most endearing, and befriended the man, hiding his love for him for many years. Eventually, on the fourth year, Angel-kun confessed to his sempai and even coerced him into a kiss. Tatsumi told him to forget his feelings, and so Tetsuhiro bottled them away as best as he could. Their weird relationship continued on as before, until one night a year later…" Hiroto paused and suddenly looked down at his feet. "…when Tetsuhiro received a certain beverage from a friend that would make the drinker….eh…horny…"

"A date-rape drug." Tetsuhiro stated flatly, taking in Hiroto's shifty appearance.

"Er..yes. Anyways. Tatsumi drank the drug while Angel-kun was out to buy them some beer, and later that night, after they had gone to sleep, Tatsumi awoke and was….well.."

Tetsuhiro swallowed and tried to break the pleasant image that had just formed in his head. "He was…okay…and then?" _Is this going where I think it is…?_

Hiroto's wicked grin came back. "With Angel-kun's help, Tatsumi was freed from his need."

Tetsuhiro's mouth was very dry. He chugged back whatever was in his glass, his heart bouncing in his chest. _Oh, God, no wonder Sempai acts weirdly around me…. _"Did…did they…do it? Wait, did Sempai even _want_ to do it?"

"Well, he was in no condition to refuse. The next morning, Tatsumi awoke in rage and stormed away from Angel-kun, and they didn't see each other for weeks. Angel-kun went away for a while in shame, and meanwhile Tatsumi got increasingly frustrated that his kouhai and friend had just disappeared. When Angel-kun came back, he blackmailed Tatsumi into sleeping with him in exchange for Angel-kun's staying there. And since then…." Hiroto wiggled his eyebrows. "Angel-kun and Tatsumi have been getting it on infrequently, as Angel-kun continuously tries to win over Tatsumi's heart and Tatsumi [I assume] tries to understand his own feelings." He finished with a satisfied sigh.

Tetsuhiro merely sat on his stool, his mouth opening and closing wordlessly, staring off into space. _I...can't believe that…he and I...we…oh my GOD… _Suddenly a torrent of anger and humiliation burst past his disbelief. _How could he!_

"How could he not tell me this? All these weeks, never a word, and here I was, wondering what could have possibly have been the problem! Why didn't he tell me? Oh, God!" Tetsuhiro snapped, putting his face into his hands bitterly.

Hiroto came over from behind the counter and gave Tetsuhiro a one-armed hug across the shoulders. "I can only guess, Angel-kun, that he didn't want you to remember your feelings. I'm guessing he hoped you two could just be friends again…"

"But," Tetsuhiro started, emerging from his hands, "if that was the case, why did he sleep with me so often if he just wanted to be friends? For that matter, if he was homophobic, how could I have possibly have turned him on enough for sex?!" He exclaimed, the words and images associated making him blush.

Hiroto squeezed his friend tightly. "That, Angel-kun, is just where you left off before your accident. You're just going to have to ask Tatsumi yourself."

Chapter 3

When Souichi arrived home that evening, he was surprised to find his kouhai not there. After a brief search of the apartment, he discovered a sticky note stuck to the refrigerator. In Morinaga's stupidly fluid writing it read:

_Sempai, went to the bar for a drink. If I'm not back by supper, there's leftover udon soup in the fridge. – Morinaga_

Souichi huffed. _Well, good, I guess. He finally got his ass out of the apartment. _He pulled open the refrigerator door and peered at the bowl of soup inside. Not feeling even the slightest bit hungry, he closed the door and padded over to the living room couch. He flopped onto it, let out a sigh, and pulled off his glasses. Souichi set them on the ottoman by the couch, shifted around a little on the cushions until he got comfortable, and resigned himself to staring at the ceiling. A little Morinaga-free time would do him some good.

For some reason during the past couple of weeks living with Morinaga had been almost unbearable. Something in the way Morinaga reacted to the most commonplace things, or how distant he kept himself from Souichi made the older man feel oddly uncomfortable. He knew that this was mostly due to Morinaga's lack of memory, but it felt like it was something else as well. Souichi was almost constantly irritated, and found himself repeatedly lecturing or snapping at Morinaga, even though his kouhai had done nothing wrong. And judging by the look on the other man's face whenever Souichi did this, he was under the impression it was normal. Souichi felt a pang of guilt, and hurriedly tried to think of something else.

Naturally, as he tried not to think about his kouhai, all Souichi thought about was him. During the past few weeks at the university, Souichi had pondered endlessly about his life and Morinaga's, trying to pinpoint what exactly was so different about them that made him feel so….empty. He came up with a few variables. One, Morinaga was no longer his lab partner. Souichi had felt like a total dick when he told the university that Morinaga would be out of the school for "an undetermined period of time [Souichi stubbornly hoped that his kouhai would get his memories back someday]". Souichi came to the conclusion that he missed having Morinaga with him as he worked. He'd admit that much to himself. Another variable was that Morinaga couldn't relate to Souichi much now that they no longer were in the same position in life. They didn't really have much to talk about. _But I could work around that if I really wanted to...that's not it…_

But even after three weeks of thinking, Souichi hadn't come up with a good enough reason for why he felt like something was missing. Souichi let his thoughts wander in a dangerous direction for a moment, and considered how often he now had to jerk off since he stopped messing around with Morinaga. It was annoying to have to resort to pleasuring himself in the shower.

_It's better this way. We can just be friends, and forget about all that weirdness from before. _Souichi nodded to himself, ignoring the strange ache in his heart at the thought.

Unfortunately for him, his brain didn't seem to want to obey him that day, and Souichi's thoughts veered towards jerking off again. Unwanted images of a hard, sweaty body above him in the semi-darkness swam before his eyes, and a blush spread across Souichi's cheeks. Hot breath in his ear, whispering words of delight and love as he was hit at that certain spot, over and over….Souichi shivered. Arms around him, holding him tightly, the taste of—

Souichi broke his trail of thought abruptly when he felt that he was getting hard. He groaned and pulled himself off of the couch, knowing what he had to do to get those images out of his brain. _I wouldn't _have _to do this if not for that idiot…! _At the thought of the idiot, new images danced before Souichi's eyes, and his knees buckled slightly in the doorway of the bathroom.

"Get it together, you dope…" He muttered with a quick shake of his head. Somehow he managed to strip and fall into the shower before things got out of hand. As the water fell on his aroused body, he closed his hand around his member, and a sigh escaped his lips.

Meanwhile, Tetsuhiro was stalking furiously up the street towards the apartment complex. His chat with Hiroto had left him embarrassed and overwhelmed. He had had that kind of relationship with Sempai? He'd…held that man in his arms, kissed him, caressed him…? It was unbelievable, but somehow it clicked perfectly with how Tetsuhiro had been feeling towards the older man. His body knew who it wanted.

Now, as he walked up the steps to their shared apartment, all Tetsuhiro felt was anger. He was going to wrench the answers out of Sempai, no matter what it took. _If not for me_, he thought with bitter amusement as he turned the knob, _then for my past self. For some closure._

Souichi was just stepping out of the shower when he heard the front door of the apartment slam shut. _Oh, he must be back. It's good I didn't eat supper…. Maybe he'll make something new…._

He grabbed his towel and was about to dry off when a sudden banging on the bathroom door made him jump in alarm.

"Sempai! Sempai, I need to talk to you! Come out!" Morinaga shouted through the door_. There's something wrong with his voice_, Souichi thought, a tendril of fear creeping up his spine.

"Uh, just a second!" Souichi called back, and began to quickly dry off his legs.

"No, Sempai. _Right now_. Come out."

Souichi shuddered at the absolute finality of his kouhai's words. There was no way he could say no. As though warning Souichi about what he was going to be hearing, his body gave another shudder, and Souichi's fingers fumbled with the towel as he tied it around his waist. He took a deep, hitching breath, and opened the door.

Morinaga stood a few feet away, his arms crossed. His face was absolutely frightening, and Souichi resisted the urge to shrink back into the bathroom and close the door. He had seen his kouhai mad before, but this wasn't simply anger. Morinaga looked angry, deceived, embarrassed, and like he was about to cry all at once. It was terrifying. He didn't even seem to notice Souichi's wet skin and lack of attire. Or perhaps he had, because as soon Souichi had given him a one-over, Morinaga uncrossed his arms and pulled the older man towards him with a firm grasp of Souichi's wrist. Souichi smacked against his chest, and struggled to keep on his towel. He looked up and was about to snap something livid in response, but his mouth was firmly silenced by Morinaga's lips.

Souichi growled deep in his throat, his fury melting into pleasure in seconds. As per usual when his kouhai touched him, his brain locked down and his body took over. He didn't even try to resist as Morinaga moved lips over his own, his muscles and bones relaxing under the younger man's hold. Souichi's fingers grasped Morinaga's shirt as the dark-haired man deepened the kiss, his tongue invading Souichi's mouth with ease. Souichi tasted him, the familiar flavour of his kouhai saturating his tongue, and Souichi's body started to feel twitchy and sensitive. He was acutely aware of the feel of Morinaga's shirt against his bare skin, his kouhai's hands keeping Souichi's jaw tilted upwards, and the other man's breath against his cheek as they paused to breathe.

Souichi looked up into Morinaga's eyes, expecting to find his kouhai wearing the usual dopey expression he wore when they did this kind of stuff, but he had forgotten that this wasn't the same Morinaga as before. _What the hell? _Souichi thought in surprise when he registered the new confusion and anger on the young man's face.

Morinaga abruptly shoved Souichi away, causing Souichi to stumble slightly from his weak knees. Despite now being partially turned on, he very quickly became pissed off. Thankfully he was now able to verbalize his irritation.

"What the fuck, Morinaga?!" He shouted, bewildered.

Tetsuhiro stared astonishingly at the floor. It wasn't as though he had disbelieved Hiroto, but the way that Sempai had feverishly kissed him back just now….There was little doubt in his mind now. _It was all true._

"Sempai, I went to the bar today. And I was told certain things about us. Just now, I thought I'd see if they were true." He said this all very slowly, as though making sure they both heard him correctly.

He saw Sempai visibly swallow. "W-what kind of things were you told?"

Tetsuhiro felt his eyebrow twitch. "Why the hell does it matter? You weren't keeping anything from me, were you Sempai?" He asked scathingly.

Sempai looked away guiltily, and Tetsuhiro launched his attack. "Why did you kiss me back just then? Why didn't you tell me I was in love you with before, just as I am now? [Sempai gasped] Why did you always go along with me when I used to pull you down for sex, if you hated it so much? Why were you so upset about my accident? Why do you blush and look away whenever I touch you? Why, Sempai, _why?!_" He was shouting by the end of this, and Sempai's face was paler than he'd ever seen it.

He concentrated on inhaling and exhaling as Sempai's mouth open and closed soundlessly, his eyes wide and slightly scared. Tetsuhiro got the feeling he wasn't frightened of him as much as he was of Tetsuhiro's questions.

"Well?" Tetsuhiro snapped after a few seconds, and Souichi cringed.

"I…I was concerned because…I'm your friend, that's why I was upset…" He mumbled, not meeting Tetsuhiro's eyes.

_Huh, sure. _"All right then, let's say I believe that for even a second, what about everything else?"

Sempai swallowed. "I…uhm…" He clenched and unclenched his hands, as if they were looking for something to strangle.

"Having trouble? Let me refresh your memory." Tetsuhiro strode forward and quickly pulled Sempai in for another kiss before the other man could protest.

Tetsuhiro slid his tongue into Souichi's mouth and ran it along his lower lip, eliciting a moan from the older man. He had no idea how he knew exactly what to do to make Sempai feel good—he assumed it was because his body had done this before. He traced his hands along Sempai's torso, feeling the now slightly damp, clean skin under his fingers. The man shuddered under his touch, and clutched at his shirt when Tetsuhiro ran a thumb over a nipple. Just as Sempai leaned into his touch, Tetsuhiro pulled away and let go of him. Tetsuhiro took a step back, ignoring his growing need, and asked, breathing heavily: "What else, Sempai?"

Sempai looked extremely irritated and uncomfortable—exactly what Tetsuhiro wanted him to be. If he was flustered…_Maybe he'll say it._

"I…I…" Souichi stammered, adjusting his towel slightly, trying to hold his arms over his growing erection so that Morinaga wouldn't see it. Apparently that did exactly nothing, because Morinaga's eyes narrowed in what looked like confirmation. Souichi's forehead broke out in a slight sweat, and his skin desperately called for something, someone, to touch i—_NO. That's not what I want. It's NOT!_

"I didn't tell you because…because I didn't want this to happen again. I wanted us to be friends, and friends only, and I figured if…if I didn't tell you about before…." Souichi blurted, taking himself by surprise.

"If you didn't tell me, I wouldn't fall in love again? What kind of logic is that, anyways? Your actions really begged otherwise, wouldn't you say? Walking around the place, half naked, getting flustered whenever I looked at you or touched you by accident…..I think you were trying to get my attention."

"WHAT! I didn't….do those things…" Souichi trailed off.

"Well, it worked, Sempai. I fell in love with you again. Now…" Morinaga walked forward until he stood an inch away, the fabric of his shirt meeting and lifting away from Souichi's skin with each breath. Souichi's heart stuttered in his chest and his throat felt very dry. Those hands…the ones that brought him pleasure…the ones that left him in this state…were so close by. What were a few words, anyways? _Wait, I can't think like that. That's what he wants. I can't. I can't…do that…._

He thoughts cut off as Morinaga slid a hand up his back, leaving a trail of tingling heat in its wake. Souichi gasped and leaned into his kouhai, his body telling Morinaga what his mouth couldn't. Morinaga ran a hand through Souichi's loose, damp hair, making sure to lightly tug the hairs behind Souichi's ears. The light-haired man shivered and trembled in Morinaga's arms, and an errant thought came together in his pleasure-rattled brain: _What is it don't want him to know, exactly?_

Tetsuhiro looked down at the completely melted man he held in his arms, and witnessed a strange flash of intuition in his sempai's eyes. Motivated by this small but hopeful measure of progress, he leaned forward and ran his lips along Sempai's jawline, planting small kisses as he travelled. Sempai sighed and quivered in his embrace, his hands entwined in Tetsuhiro's shirt, pulling and tugging with each pleasure-inducing movement Morinaga preformed.

"Now…what do you need to say?" Tetsuhiro breathed into Sempai's collarbone.

"I…don't..need..t—AH!" Souichi cried out as Tetsuhiro's thumb once again found a nipple.

"Hmm, I don't think that's true…" Tetsuhiro teased the nipple with his forefinger and thumb, tugging and twisting it slightly as its owner writhed from the sensation. _Just one more push…_

Once again Souichi was let go of. The abrupt absence of the warm hands that had been roaming his body gave Souichi an immense feeling of loss. Entirely too weak to support themselves, his knees gave way, and he slid to the floor. He was a shaking mess, all because of his damn kouhai. A damn kouhai that kept teasing him and not finishing what he started, when he _really_ _needed_ to finish what he started.

"Sempai, are you going to let go?"

Morinaga's soft voice rang in his head, and he looked up. Souichi blinked in surprise to see his own hand clutching Morinaga's sleeve, as if begging him not to go.

That was the last straw. Everything came crashing down on Souichi all at once: his social dependence on Morinaga, the reason why he got so upset whenever Morinaga was hurt or whenever his kouhai left him, Souichi's sexual frustrations concerning him, his jealously over Morinaga's old lover, Misaki… Confusing pieces of Souichi's life suddenly seemed to fit perfectly into place- he had just been too stubborn and blind to see how each piece came together.

Looking into his kouhai's hopeful eyes, all he could do was impress a certain thing to Morinaga. "I…_need _you. I need _you_, Morinaga. I have to have you. You're the only one…I'd…For the love of God, I—" Souichi's strangled and oddly worded confession was cut off by an attack of Morinaga's delighted lips.

"Sempai…" Kiss, kiss. "Sempai….do you mean that…." Kiss, touch. "That you…." Kiss, stroke. "…Love me?"

Incapable of articulate thought or speech anymore, Souichi merely launched himself onto Morinaga, knocking his kouhai over on his back. Souichi _needed_. He _wanted_. And he would _get_.

Tetsuhiro felt as giddy as a bride on her wedding day. _He loves me! He loves me! _As though wanting to seal some kind of pact between them, Tetsuhiro felt an overpowering urge to be inside the man lying on top of him. Now. Carefully, he sat up, and gathered a very red-faced Sempai in his arms. The drama-fatigued man let Tetsuhiro carry him princess-style to his bedroom, where Sempai was placed carefully onto the bed. In a flash, Tetsuhiro was naked, and was leaning over the body of the man he loved as his fingers quickly prepared Sempai for the moment they both looked forward to urgently. Sempai let out desperate groans when Tetsuhiro's fingers had stretched him enough to hit that spot inside of him repeatedly, and taking this as a cue, Tetsuhiro reached forward and positioned his Sempai atop of his hips.

The two men raised their heads and looked into each other's eyes just as Tetsuhiro swiftly pushed inside. They let out a simultaneous groan, and like the sun breaking through the clouds of a winter storm, all of Tetsuhiros' memories came flooding back. Every word spoken to each other, every embrace, every moment they had had from the past five years together filled his mind in a flash of recollection. Their years together were no longer lost, and the full weight of Sempai's words only a few moments before washed through Tetsuhiro.

"You….love me…" He whispered, and Sempai's eyes widened. They stared at each other for an immeasurable moment in time, an unspoken understanding reached between them. One of them (neither of them was entirely sure; it could have been Sempai rocking his hips, or Tetsuhiro beginning to thrust) began to move, slowly at first, as though letting the two adjust to these newly discovered feelings, and then faster as they began to burn and want more. Faster and faster, the two breathing as though they couldn't breathe in enough of each other, not a single word was spoken as they moved towards their climax. When they reached it, a single shudder passed through their joined bodies, and their arms around each other tightened. As the shudder left them, they collapsed onto the bed, their individual bodies still moulded together as one. Tetsuhiro withdrew from Sempai, and the two simply lay on the covers with the aftermath of their physical love still on and around them. They stared into each other's eyes until they couldn't keep their eyes open any longer, and just before they drifted off into a well-deserved slumber, their hands met and entwined on the sheets.

Epilogue: A Bad Romance

"Oi, Morinaga! Tweezers, now!"

"Yes, yes!" Tetsuhiro quickly grabbed the tweezers from the tool box and wheeled his chair over to where Sempai (_No, no, it's _Souichi_ now_, He reminded himself joyfully) sat frowning into the microscope. Souichi snatched them from his kouhai's hands and attempted to pull something out of a petri dish, but—

"Ah, you _moron_! Too slow! Look, now my culture's DIED!" Souichi stood up and towered menacingly over Tetsuhiro, shoving the oddly coloured algae specimen in Tetsuhiro's face.

"Ah, I'm sorry, Souichi! I'M SORRY!" He added with fear upon seeing the muscle spasm in Souichi's jaw with the use of his first name. It was clearly going to be a while before he got used to that.

"You know what, _Tetsuhiro_?" Souichi sneered, stepping forward. Tetsuhiro gulped and frantically made to wheel his chair far away, but was stopped as Souichi's hand gripped the back of it, yanking it towards his body. "I'm now very pissed. What are you going to do to make it up to me?" Souichi stared down into Tetsuhiro's eyes, and all Tetsuhiro could see looking back at him were the twin fires of hell.

"I'll…I'll…." He gulped once again, and quickly leaned up to press his lips against the long-haired fury's taunt ones. Like giving candy to a baby, Souichi's hissy-fit button switched off, and he leaned into the kiss. After a few seconds, Tetsuhiro pulled back and gave him a merry smile.

"I'll pay you back later…tonight." He wheeled back over to his desk, leaving Souichi to digest that. He heard his lover mumble something that sounded a lot like "…thinks he can get away with everything now, does he…" before he heard Souichi sit, defeated and deflated, into his chair once again.

Tetsuhiro grinned to himself and turned back to his work.


End file.
